Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Favorite Song of the Week: Morningwood - Take Off Your Clothes

I like the Olympics.

It's amazing what those people can do. I enjoy watching the skating, skiing, skeleton -- all of those events that I'm completely incapable of doing myself.

There is one thing in particular about the Olypics that I absolutely love: thighs.

I just love Olympian thighs. Start with the figure skaters. Long, lean muscles spinning and toe-picking around. Skiiers in the tight little bodysuits weaving down the side of a mountain.

The speed skaters always get me. Their thighs are simply amazing - especially the women. Beautiful. I thought they were the end all and be all of the Olympic thighs. Then, I see the ski jumpers.

Taught muscles as they fly through the air, deep lunges when they land. And then, at the very bottom, how they spread their legs to slow down. I'm covered in an immediate and deep flush, followed by a breathless "wow".

I dedicate my favorite song this week to Olympic thighs.

Listen: Morningwood - Take Off Your Clothes mp3

Morningwood is a retro-rock NY band frtoned by the curvaceous Chantel Claret. I can't say I adore the whole album, but Take Off Your Clothes is so sexy and dirty, I can't help but listen to it over and over again. I'd rank it up their with Liz Phair's Flower as one of the best horny girl songs I've heard.

Enjoy the tune, become Morningwood's friend, then go tittie tag all of your friends.

*** Favorite Song Last Week: Califone - When Leon Spinx Moved Into Town ***

Monday, February 20, 2006

Non Sequitur: Karaoke Without Alcohol?

I came across an interesting little snippet of news the other day.

Karaoke bars in Vietnam will no longer be allowed to sell or have alcohol on their premises as part of the country's continued campaign against so-called 'social evils', a government official said Friday.

Such an interesting cultural difference, don't you think? I can't imagine there would be a bar anywhere in the US that would stop selling alcohol on Karaoke night. As far as I'm concerned, to do so would be the 'social evil'. Listening to someone who thinks they are the next Britney Spears or Kid Rock without having a beer buzz is not my idea of a good time.

"The decree will definitely help reduce negative activities in karaoke bars and discotheques," he said.

Hm. Now there's an interesting point. The freer the booze is flowing, there's better chance you'll hear a botched version of "I Got You Babe". And that my friends, truly is a negative activity.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Favorite Song of the Week: Califone - When Leon Spinx Moved Into Town

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing seems to go quite the way you wish it would? How about a week of that? A month?

Lately it's been feeling that way. I can't say everything is horrible - it's not. Just not as good as I wish it would be. It feels like everything is just a bit off... not fitting quite like it should.

I liken this feeling to being in Disneyland. On the surface, everything looks great. Buildings are painted nicely, streets are clean, plants are well taken care of, everyone you see has a shiny, happy face. It all looks good and nice, but there's this nagging feeling that something isn't quite right. Something dark hiding beneath the surface. You can't put your finger on it, but you find yourself stealing glances over your shoulder not quite sure what you expect to find.

I've found myself listening to a lot of Califone this week - it's complimenting this "not quite right" mood of mine.

Califone has that perfect mix of folk-twinged rock secured in bluesy roots with touches of punk and melodic strings to make a great sound.

However, as you listen, you feel something else... something under the surface that you can't quite define. Could be the lyrics. Or the way a piano trickles in and out of a song. Maybe it's the orchestrated feedback from a guitar. Whatever it is, it's something base and instinctual that sticks in your gut.

This snippet from a Pitchfork review describes the feeling better than I ever could:
If you pump Califone through a decent pair of headphones, it's alarmingly easy to synchronize your body to their songs: inhalations become bowed strings, heartbeats mimic steady, muted drums. It's the idea of being over-alive, too tuned in to the blood and gore of the universe.

Listen: Califone - When Leon Spinx Moved Into Town mp3

If you like my favorite song this week, become Califone's friend and listen to more of what they have to offer. Their albums can be found here or downloaded from (my beloved) eMusic.

*** Favorite Song Last Week: Strip Squad - Unreliable Narrator ***

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

My Valentine's Day Rant

I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. The whole idea of being obligated to show your love to someone on a pre-determined day is just a bunch of crap. An idealized, Hallmark/Lifetime Television/Disney version of "true love" and "romance" is shoved down our collective throat. Yeah, have a mall jeweler/grocery store florist/greeting card executive/talking stuffed panda bear help you find the right way to express your feelings.

Crap. All of it. Lackluster. Unimaginative. Status-quo.

Forget the fancy dinner and expensive bottle of champagne. I'll take eating chinese take-out from the cartons and drinking cheap red wine out of tumblers any day.

Oh sure, I like flowers, but how about adopting a tree instead of dropping $50 on roses that'll last a week and a half?

Pricey tickets to a play? I'd much rather play a rousing game of strip scrabble in the middle of the living room floor while listening to a homemade mix tape.

I'll pass on the matching undergarments - I wear my bright orange bra and lime green panties together on purpose. If you insist on matching items, how about a Zep t-shirt and matching Chucks?

A diamond heart-shaped pendant? Nah. Contrary to popular belief, diamonds aren't a girl's best friend. Multiple orgasms are.

Be creative! Be different! Be unique! Be unexpected! After all, if you've fallen for me, it's for those exact reasons.

Yes, it is all about me. We women tend to get the better end of the deal on Valentine's Day. You? I'll get you next month on Steak & BJ Day.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Favorite Song of the Week: Strip Squad - Unreliable Narrator

"when he masturbates
he thinks of pretty things
like the arch of your eyebrow
your almond shaped eye"

It may just be me, but I find those lyrics quite sweet. As a matter of fact, I find the song Unreliable Narrator by Strip Squad to be quite sweet.

It's an interesting blend of spoken word and twee electro pop but with lyrcis about masturbation and penises. Seriously. Shocking parrallels that are so darned catchy and playful, you can't help but fall in love with them. Leave it to the swedes for a little tongue-in-cheek indie goodness.

Listen: Strip Squad - Unreliable Narrator mp3

*** Favorite Song Last Week: The Gossip - Sweet Baby ***

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