Friday, March 02, 2007

Air Supply vs. My Soapbox

Air Supply showed up in the Freshly Ripped section of eMusic today. Yeah. Air Supply. I’d like to take a moment to discuss why Two Less Lonely People in the World is possibly one of the Worst. Songs. Ever. Yes, each word is capitalized and gets its own period, it’s that horrible. It’s so bad I couldn’t link to the whole song. A 30 second sample is nearly too much.

And hey, what better way to dust off this old blog than climbing on my soapbox?

With the help of a lyric site that I’m sure infected my computer with spyware, let’s take a look a why this song sucks as hard as it does.

I was down my dreams were wearing thin
When you’re lost where do you begin
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love than never came my way
Hot damn, can you smell the desperation? Riddle me this: if you’re down and your dreams are wearing thin, if you’re so lost you don’t know where to begin why the hell would you look to get into a relationship with someone? That kind of logic falls into the same world as “a baby will save our marriage” or “I’m going to call him 20 times a day; then he’ll want me back”.

I get feeling sorry for yourself. We all deserve a good pity party from time to time. But looking for someone to fix that part of you? That just screams of the three D’s: denial, displacement, and damn scary. Moving on…

Then you smiled and I reached out to you
I could tell you were lonely too
One look then it all began for you and me

Beautiful. There’s the start of a healthy relationship. It’s so romantic, confusing codependency with love at first sight.
The moment that we touched I knew that there would be
Two less lonely people in the world
And its gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can’t believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight
There is a difference between intimacy and nurturance – I’m pretty sure this fellow thinks they are one in the same. That makes me queasy. I just have an image of two people locked in a white-knuckled death grip embrace, terrified to let go. Laying claim to another person is clearly a sign that healthy boundaries have not been defined. And hey, if you’re looking to get saved, the only person you should be looking to establish a relationship with is Pat Robertson.

Just to think what I might have missed
Looking back how did I exist
I dreamed, still I never thought I’d come this far
But miracles come true, I know cause here we are
That’s right, define your self-worth through someone else. The real miracle is that this relationship can last under the crushing, suffocating weight of expectation, entitlement and perfection – even if it’s just for “tonight”.

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7 Comments:

At 3/02/2007 2:40 PM, Anonymous James said...

Hmmm... Reading the lyrics he comes off like a scary "It puts the lotion on its skin!" sort of guy.

 
At 3/05/2007 10:41 AM, Blogger A to the K said...

Ha! Exactly! It just skeeves me out. I went to a wedding 2 years ago where this was the song for the bride and groom (second marriage for both). They gazed lovingly into each other's eyes as they danced in the basement of the church. I was horrified. So I went to the red cooler on the floor and pulled out a can of High Life to help ease my nerves. That was some wedding.

 
At 3/08/2007 12:51 PM, Anonymous James said...

Cans of High Life in a cooler... just the kind of open bar one might expect at a wedding where the likes of Air Supply are heard. ;-)

 
At 3/09/2007 8:30 AM, Blogger A to the K said...

Oh and it gets better. The church they got married? Yeah, it was the place where they met. She was a teacher or administrator at the school there, and he was a janitor. They got busted while bumping uglies in the janitor's closet.

Perhaps it was the exhibitionists in the them that brought them together. "jesus is watching"

 
At 5/07/2007 9:38 AM, Blogger JJ said...

you just ruined my 17 year streak of not thinking about Air Supply.

 
At 5/18/2007 1:47 AM, Blogger Captain Whiffle said...

ok, when i was in junior high i joined columbia music club, back when vinyl was still the medium. (same packaging, just bigger boxes.) and what did i order for one of my new-member freebies? air supply's the one that you love. all i can say in my defense is that i also ordered lipps, inc.'s mouth to mouth and donna summer's on the radio.

 
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