Air Supply vs. My Soapbox

Air Supply showed up in the Freshly Ripped section of eMusic today. Yeah. Air Supply. I’d like to take a moment to discuss why Two Less Lonely People in the World is possibly one of the Worst. Songs. Ever. Yes, each word is capitalized and gets its own period, it’s that horrible. It’s so bad I couldn’t link to the whole song. A 30 second sample is nearly too much.

And hey, what better way to dust off this old blog than climbing on my soapbox?

With the help of a lyric site that I’m sure infected my computer with spyware, let’s take a look a why this song sucks as hard as it does.

I was down my dreams were wearing thin
When you’re lost where do you begin
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love than never came my way

Hot damn, can you smell the desperation? Riddle me this: if you’re down and your dreams are wearing thin, if you’re so lost you don’t know where to begin why the hell would you look to get into a relationship with someone? That kind of logic falls into the same world as “a baby will save our marriage” or “I’m going to call him 20 times a day; then he’ll want me back”.

I get feeling sorry for yourself. We all deserve a good pity party from time to time. But looking for someone to fix that part of you? That just screams of the three D’s: denial, displacement, and damn scary. Moving on…

Then you smiled and I reached out to you
I could tell you were lonely too
One look then it all began for you and me

Beautiful. There’s the start of a healthy relationship. It’s so romantic, confusing codependency with love at first sight.

The moment that we touched I knew that there would be
Two less lonely people in the world
And its gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can’t believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight

There is a difference between intimacy and nurturance – I’m pretty sure this fellow thinks they are one in the same. That makes me queasy. I just have an image of two people locked in a white-knuckled death grip embrace, terrified to let go. Laying claim to another person is clearly a sign that healthy boundaries have not been defined. And hey, if you’re looking to get saved, the only person you should be looking to establish a relationship with is Pat Robertson.

Just to think what I might have missed
Looking back how did I exist
I dreamed, still I never thought I’d come this far
But miracles come true, I know cause here we are

That’s right, define your self-worth through someone else. The real miracle is that this relationship can last under the crushing, suffocating weight of expectation, entitlement and perfection – even if it’s just for “tonight”.